Looking foolish does the spirit good. The need not to look foolish is one of youth's many burdens; as we get older we are exempted from more and more, and float upward in our heedlessness, singing Gratia Dei sum quod sum. - Johm Updike

Thanks be to God that I am what I am

Thursday, December 22, 2011


I realize that I spent I great deal of time bitching about the callers and my job in general.  Believe it or not, I actually am good at my job most of the time.  I'm not counting the pre-holiday slump, goddamnit.

I created this blog so that I could bitch without annoying my friends with a constant running monologue about my adventures as a phone sex operator.  I could entertain you with my experience about impressing the hell out of a caller with a demanding lingerie fantasy.  He is seriously into stockings. A HUGE number of men are seriously into stockings.  Knowing that has definitely altered how I think about what is sexy in clothing.

The caller was actually looking for a different operator.  The system I'm on does not give operators their own extensions.  I asked him what he usually talks about with her and he told me about how much he loves lingerie. Unlike most callers, the color of my lingerie was really important to him.  Most callers are oblivious to color unless it is pink, red or black.  When he asked me if if I liked purple and I answered with a breathy sigh and told him that I LOVED purple, especially a deep, amethyst so dark it looked like black until I moved closer to  the light, he was enthralled and told me so.  His manner was funny and sarcastic and his fantasy involved being tied up WITH stockings.  I enjoyed talking to him.

A Very Difficult Subject

The line I work on is an "Anthing Goes" line.  That means that NO subject is taboo as long as it is for the purpose of fantasy. That includes incest, pedophilia, bestiality ( zoophilia ) or necrophilia.  Despite what many people think, it is not illegal to discuss any of these topics in the context of fantasy.  Fantasy is a healthy expression of sexuality, children.  Everyone has fantasies and some of those fantasies can get downright bizarre.

On the other hand, no one wants to enact every fantasy they have.  Most are physically impossible, they involve doing things a person doesn't really want to do or the act would have a devastating affect on their life. Think infidelity, among other things. People have the right to fantasize about anything thing they want and they have the right to talk about those fantasies.  That's part of what freedom of speech means and I believe in it.

As a phone sex operator, I make money by talking about a caller's sexual fantasies.  Here's my guilty little secret; sometimes I really enjoy it.  Here's the REALLY guilty little secret, it's not the sex that I enjoy, it's the storytelling.  That's how I manage to talk about subjects I don't really care for; research and a really good imagination. Sometimes, it works and I can give the caller the impression that I'm just as turned on by the same things he is and sometimes, it just doesn't work.

Let me give you an example of when it just doesn't work.  Last Tuesday started out really good.  I got a couple of calls with guys who wanted to just talk to a girl who is into talking about fucking.  The rest were vanilla sex fantasies and a long string of silent callers until my shift was almost over.  Then, it turned into pervert hour.  Every goddamned call turned into an incest or pedophilia fantasy.  It felt like I was fighting a battle to bite my tongue with every bloody call.  Every time a caller suddenly announced he wanted me to be his mother or his sister or wanted  to watch me fuck my son, I felt like screaming 'what kind of freak are you?'

I don't understand incest. I don't understand pedophilia, either even though I think that pedophilia is actually encouraged in our society by the sexualization of children, especially girls.  The sheer number of callers who want to fantasize about having sex with an underage girl is astonishing. It is also horrifying because those callers are the ones who want to fantasize about having sex with a girl without limits or wants or desires of her own. They want the ultimate submissive: beautiful, doll-like, passive and eager to please. 

The incest calls are different. They cover the spectrum from dominant to submissive, sometimes nurturing, sometimes contemptuous.  One caller started out fairly vanilla and slightly sumbmissive but, quickly degenerated into making baby noises and calling me 'ma-ma' in a very child-like voice. Lucklily, he ran out of time before I could respond.  That call left me shaken and disgusted.  Another started out as a standard MILF call until he wanted to bring my (non-existent) teenage son into a threesome fantasy.  He kept bringing the son up and I kept ignoring him until he asked me what I would do if my son wanted me to suck his cock. I told him I would tell my son 'to get the fuck out of the room' and the caller laughed.  He seemed to amused to discover a phone sex operator who HAS limits.  

The last one was a man I have spoken to before.  He sounds like a caricature; rural, under-educated and organically stupid.  His fantasy is watching his overweight, stupid, passive, and recently divorced sister get gang-banged (or gang raped, her desires are irrelevant) by a group of grossly over-endowed Black men.  He tells me about his sister as if we are having a conversation about what a pathetic mooch she is even though he tells me that his house is actually his mother's and his mother supports him.  He does not work, nor does he take care of his mother. The hypocrisy of his attitude toward his sister flies over his head.  As he sets up this scenario, he expects me to take over and enthusiastically describe what is happening to his sister.  Once again, I just can't do it.  The last time I talked to this caller, I just kept asking him questions until he ran out of time.  This time I turn the tables on him, I ask what he would do if he were surrounded by horny, Black men with huge cocks. He says he wants to know about his sister.  I point out that HE is the one with the fascination with Black men and their huge cocks so he MUST want to be the one getting fucked by them.  He hangs up and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Pervert hour is over and I am done for the day.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Silent Callers and the Lost Story

Silent callers.  What can I say?  I hate the little, lurking bastards with a blinding passion.  It seems to me that the dumbest thing a caller can do is call a phone sex line and not say a word but, callers do it all the time.  Last week, I got nothing but silent callers for an hour.  I was ready to pull out my hair.  In coaching, we are told to just start talking in character, tell the caller an erotic story that holds his attention.  This has never worked for me.

I get paid on a sliding scale depending on the amount of time I can keep a caller on the line.  Anything less than a minute doesn't count against my average.  Anything above ten is golden. 1-9 is the dead zone, all it does is count against my average and bring that number down.  Talking to silent callers is almost guaranteed to end with a 2 or 3 minute call and I try to get rid of them as quickly as possible.

That is usually the easy part.  Silent callers are looking for operators who will play along with them.  I won't. I say 'hello' a couple of times and then laugh and ask 'is anyone there?' even though I can often hear them breathing.  If they persist, I ask them to make 'one little sound, just so I know that you're there.'  That is usually enough to get rid of them or get them to start talking.  The problem is that I hate to lose and a lost call is potential lost income.  I asked of the coaches, and she advised me to use masturbation stories or voyeur stories.  They have worked well for her.

Since I have never thought about how to describe how I masturbate to anyone, I decide to pop over to literotica.com and get some inspiration.  I read a few stories. There's nothing that I can use verbatim but, I get a few ideas and log into the phone sex line.  I improvise a masturbation story and it works.  Like gangbusters.  I manage to turn several silent callers into to regular calls and even manage to max out 2 completely silent calls.  That means that I kept a silent caller on the line for, at least 30 minutes and all the fucker did was listen. I chortle, evilly, and make note of it my log book but, I didn't write the story down.

2 days later, my weekend is over and I log back in. Immediately, I'm having the same goddamned problem with silent callers.  I remember that I managed to totally dominate the little bastards with a story I told but, I can't remember the story.  I start flipping through my log book.  I can find my notations about the calls where the story worked but, I made no notes about the details of the story itself.  I am a dumb-ass.  Later, I tell a couple of the coaches about it and they laugh their asses off.  Both of them tell me that they are going to use my experience as a cautionary tale to new operators about the importance of keeping good notes.

Glad I could help.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Just not feeling it

I ended the day with a 15 minute average.  That's really good but, it won't make up for the money I lost to the pre-holiday slump.  Fucking perverts.  Never around when you want them.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Things to remember

I want to tell you about the guy who's fantasy is shopping for a mistress and what I have learned about men from being a phone sex operator but it will have to wait for another day.

Mr. Gross-and-boring Rides Again

So, he's back.  The caller who annoys me more than all the others.  I've decided to call him Gross-and-Boring.  He probably uses a pseudonym, most of the callers do but, the name he uses is rather uncommon.  I'm not going to use it here.

I try to disguise my voice but, Gross-and-Boring has fantastic auditory memory.  Much better than mine, the bastard.  He recognizes me right away.  He immediately tries to launch into his fantasy and I derail it by asking questions.  Has he ever actually been with a man? No. I actually know that.  Gross-and-Boring and I have actually had this conversation several times.  I'm sure he realizes that he is talking to the same woman. I ask him why he wants the same exact fantasy over and over again. This is what he likes and he likes the way I tell it, is his response.  He has figured out that calling me a sexy bitch will get him an earful of dead silence.  I tell him his fantasy is like reading the same book over and over again and its boring. He doesn't really care. I change several details of his fantasy to make it more interesting for me.  He responds with an audible lack of enthusiasm but, gets more into it when we hit familiar territory.  He runs out of time before I start to lose my temper and , for that, I am truly thankful.

I suspect that the company monitor was listening in on that call because, he is not connected to me again for the rest of my shift.  The monitor for this shift is my favorite and very supportive.  I'm sure that he can tell I can't stand this caller by my tone.

Two things have to change.  One, he has to stop calling me 'baby'.  A lot of callers do it.  It usually doesn't bother me but, when Gross-and-Boring does it, I start to snarl.  And the whole panties sniffing thing, yuck.  Again, a lot of callers have a thing for sniffing and it doesn't bother me but, this guy... I'd rather shove my panties down his throat and watch him choke on them.

I end my shift with a 16 minute average for the day.  That's what I want.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Another Slow Damn Day

I'm working and it's really slow, again.  This is really unusual for a Friday.  I really wish one of my regulars would call, especially a guy I refer to as Chester the Molester.  Unlike most of the callers I talk to, Chester enjoys being told that he's perverted for lusting after his teenage daughter.  He gets off being verbally abused by a teenage girl.

The line I work for is an 'Anything Goes' line.  That means that almost any subject can be discussed as long as the operator makes it clear that she is not under the age of 18 and that it is for the purpose of fantasy.  Some of those fantasies can get pretty damn weird and disgusting.   Most of them are just boring, run of the mill, adult man happens to cross paths with hot, teenage, nymphomaniac and, of course, she just has to fuck him.

The reason I enjoy talking to Chester?  All the things that I would love to say to almost every caller, I can say to Chester and he LOVES it. He tells me that his fantasy is his teenage daughter catching him jerking off with her dirty panties and confronting him and I RUN with it.  I get to tell him he's a disgusting pig.  He tells me he can't help it.  I snatch the panties away and set them on fire.  He tells me he's used all my panties to masturbate because he can't stop himself. I throw all of them away.  I tell him I'm calling a locksmith to put a lock on my door and he's paying for it.  He whines about my mother finding out. I say I'm going to tell her anyway. He begs me not to, she'll call the cops. I tell him I don't care he deserves it.  He tells me he's afraid of what will happen to him in jail.  I tell him I hope he gets a bunch of cons to do to him everything he has fantasied about doing to me and Chester has an orgasm.  Believe it or not, this conversation takes over 30 minutes.  I call him every name I can think of, reminding him that I think he is absolutely disgusting, while maintaining a tone of utter outrage.  I blow off some steam and Chester gets to enjoy his fantasy.

Puts me in a good mood every time.

Thursday, December 15, 2011


Slow damn day.  Weekdays usually are except Monday, strangely enough.  I suspect that a lot of the habitual callers are holding back to try to save some money for the holidays.  Good for them.  It's nice to think they can do something other than think about getting off.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Worst, Most Boring Caller, Ever!

So, if you haven't guessed, I'm working right now.  One of the reasons I created this blog (the callers) is on the phone right now and I am talking him through the most boring sexual fantasy, ever.  I actually dread  talking to him.  I sometimes purposely avoid talking to him by making my voice very flat.  It doesn't always work.

The  problem is his fantasy NEVER changes. I have been working as a phone sex operator for six months and have talked to this man almost every day since the first week.  In all that time, his fantasy has not changed one bit.  He wants to be down on his knees next to me, sucking my boyfriend's cock while sniffing my dirty panties which I have tied around the base of my boyfriend's cock.  This is so he can smell "that little place where I farted".  Oh joy.

Here's the many reasons I hate this caller. I have had to repeat this stupid, boring, gross fantasy every day I have worked for the past six months.  I often have to repeat it multiple times a day because the disgusting fucker keeps calling back.  I am tempted to record myself telling this fantasy and just play it for him so I don't have to repeat the damn thing one more time. He talks in a high pitched falsetto while in fantasy pretending to be a "dirty little faggot" that sets me on edge.  I hate that his fantasy is about being degraded by a teenage girl who FORCES him to suck cock for her pleasure and calls him hateful names for doing it. Last but not least, he describes sucking cock in such a disgusting way, it is obvious he has never sucked cock and thinks that sucking cock is an incredibly degrading thing to do.  I start to wonder about how many men who love to get blow jobs think that sucking IS a really degrading act and think poorly of the women and men who are willing to give their partners pleasure with their mouths.  The worst part, he loves the sound of my voice and keeps breaking 'character' to tell me how much he would love to meet me and fuck me.  I tell him that's sweet and keep reminding myself that talking to this asshole raises my stats and means I get paid more.

Keep talking dickweed, Baby needs a new winter coat.

Purpose and Intent

Hello and welcome!  Allow me to introduce myself. I am Wicked Julia.  Why am I wicked, you might ask.  The answer is simple.  I earn my living talking to men about sex.  That's right, children.   I am a phone sex operator and have been for the last six months.  Now, please, listen very carefully to what I am about to say.  This is NOT an attempt to solicit business.  The company I contact my services to does plenty of advertising and needs no help from me.

I created this for myself to talk about my experiences as a phone sex operator, rant a little, and blow off some steam.  If there is a question I can answer about being a phone sex operator, I will do my best to answer it.  Trust me, the information available on the internet about phone sex  is bullshit.  The way phone sex is depicted in movies and television is wrong.  The worst part, even documentaries that talk about phone sex are misinformed by the industry itself.  That annoys me the most.  In a attempt to maintain the mystique of phone sex and grab a little free advertising, the people being interviewed lie, constantly.

If you are thinking about contacting me for a one-on-one 'date', do us both a favor and think again. Better yet, grab an adult magazine and pick an ad to call. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT CONTACTING ME FOR A CALL.  This is for me, not advertising for work.  I hope that is clear enough.