Looking foolish does the spirit good. The need not to look foolish is one of youth's many burdens; as we get older we are exempted from more and more, and float upward in our heedlessness, singing Gratia Dei sum quod sum. - Johm Updike

Thanks be to God that I am what I am

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Mr. Gross-and-boring Rides Again

So, he's back.  The caller who annoys me more than all the others.  I've decided to call him Gross-and-Boring.  He probably uses a pseudonym, most of the callers do but, the name he uses is rather uncommon.  I'm not going to use it here.

I try to disguise my voice but, Gross-and-Boring has fantastic auditory memory.  Much better than mine, the bastard.  He recognizes me right away.  He immediately tries to launch into his fantasy and I derail it by asking questions.  Has he ever actually been with a man? No. I actually know that.  Gross-and-Boring and I have actually had this conversation several times.  I'm sure he realizes that he is talking to the same woman. I ask him why he wants the same exact fantasy over and over again. This is what he likes and he likes the way I tell it, is his response.  He has figured out that calling me a sexy bitch will get him an earful of dead silence.  I tell him his fantasy is like reading the same book over and over again and its boring. He doesn't really care. I change several details of his fantasy to make it more interesting for me.  He responds with an audible lack of enthusiasm but, gets more into it when we hit familiar territory.  He runs out of time before I start to lose my temper and , for that, I am truly thankful.

I suspect that the company monitor was listening in on that call because, he is not connected to me again for the rest of my shift.  The monitor for this shift is my favorite and very supportive.  I'm sure that he can tell I can't stand this caller by my tone.

Two things have to change.  One, he has to stop calling me 'baby'.  A lot of callers do it.  It usually doesn't bother me but, when Gross-and-Boring does it, I start to snarl.  And the whole panties sniffing thing, yuck.  Again, a lot of callers have a thing for sniffing and it doesn't bother me but, this guy... I'd rather shove my panties down his throat and watch him choke on them.

I end my shift with a 16 minute average for the day.  That's what I want.

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