Looking foolish does the spirit good. The need not to look foolish is one of youth's many burdens; as we get older we are exempted from more and more, and float upward in our heedlessness, singing Gratia Dei sum quod sum. - Johm Updike

Thanks be to God that I am what I am

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Hang up @ Hello

I keep a log book of my calls.  I have mentioned this before and explained why it is important for a PSO to do so.  What I have not mentioned before, in any great detail, is how many hang ups I get.  The hosting service does not have individual extensions for PSOs so callers have to find an operator they like by the 'catch and release' method.  If they like my voice (or recognize my voice and like me) after I say 'hello', we start talking.  I am excluding Lazy Fuckers and Silent Callers from this explanation.  Those assholes operate under an entirely different set of rules.  If the caller doesn't like the sound of my voice or recognizes the sound of my voice and doesn't like me, he hangs up.  Trust me when I say this is a very effective method of getting rid of Short Timers like the Officious Little Prick or Who Dis.  Both of them need to burn in a special circle of hell while buggering each other, as far as I am concerned.  Who Dis demolished my call average one afternoon before I learned to just not play along with the fucker.  Whatever he is looking for, I am not that PSO.  I just let him know that right away by demanding that he give me a name before I answer any questions.

What it comes down to is this; I get hung up on a lot.  During training, it was made very clear that this is normal and to not take it personally.  The first few weeks, it was hard not to when I had the Downer screeching into my ear every time a caller hung up on me.  It seems no one told the Downer not to take hang ups personally.  This was before I learned to avoid the disagreeable fuck.  The Downer demands that every PSO on his shift give 100% all the time with every call.  Yeah, right.  Not going to happen.  I'm not going to 'give it my all' to a caller on a shitty cell phone, or a caller who has me on speakerphone.  Listening to myself while I'm performing is too damn distracting.  I think I sound like an idiot and I don't like the sound of my own voice (too Midwestern).  Obviously, callers don't share my opinion, otherwise I wouldn't have a job but, I'm not going to put up with being on speakerphone.  I'm not going to put a lot of effort into trying to get a long call out of a notorious Short Timer.  If a caller has a track record of hanging up on me after 3-4 minutes, he's not worth my time.  Talking to him will literally cost me money.  (On a side note; I just managed to wrangle a 10 minute call out of Diaperboy, a recent edition to the Short Timer list since he started asking PSOs to help him advertise his freaking website)  I'm not going to put a lot of effort into talking to a caller I don't like, though usually my reason for not liking a caller is because he's a Short Timer.  The notable exception is Mr Gross-and-Boring.  He is not a Short Timer but, I don't like the way he talks about sex or how pushy he is so I won't talk to him.  I won't put any effort into a call with a caller who wants a mommy/son incest fantasy, a rape fantasy or a pedophile fantasy.  I like to make it clear from the beginning that these types of role play leave me cold.  Not sexy at all, assholes, and I don't care if this is an 'anything goes' line.  If you want a PSO who can pretend that shit is sexy, you need to find one who is a much better performer than I am.  I can handle just about any fetish under the sun except the ones that involve non-consent.  Being a Domme does not mean that I have any interest in non-consensual sex.

One of the worst fantasies I have ever been asked to perform is also one of the most bizarre; the man wanted a Mommy/son incest fantasy with a twist, the 'mommy' is a transsexual presenting her adult son with a 10 year old boy as a birthday present.  The first time I talked to this caller, I just let him talk and kept telling him I was having a hard time picturing his fantasy.  The asshole kept talking until his time ran out.  The second time, I kept asking him questions until he got frustrated and hung up.  Now, I just tell him that I'm 'just not into it' and he hangs up.  The ultimate fantasy of phone sex is that the PSO is 'really into' the callers' fantasy.  Most callers get violently upset if they realize that the PSO is just performing.  They don't want to think about the fact that the PSO is being paid for her participation unless part of their fantasy is forcing the PSO to participate.

When a caller hangs up on me after hearing me say hello, I don't take it personally, anymore.  There are times when I wish I could ask him what the hell he is looking for or why a woman saying 'hello' is insufficient.  One of my regulars, the Romantic, hates the way I answer when I am connected and says so every time we speak.  He points out that most other PSOs start out by giving their name and a brief description so a caller can decide whether or not he wants to speak with her without any effort on his part.  He tries to order me to change my behavior to make things easier for him.  I tell him to go to hell, every time.  I find it astonishing that callers think they can order me to change my behavior simply for their convenience (we haven't even gotten to their fantasy) and expect to be obeyed.  Yet, it happens every day I work.

Hey Assholes!  In case I was not clear, you do not get to decide how I do my job.  I am doing just fine without your oh so helpful suggestions.  Please exercise the right to keep your opinions to yourself.

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