Looking foolish does the spirit good. The need not to look foolish is one of youth's many burdens; as we get older we are exempted from more and more, and float upward in our heedlessness, singing Gratia Dei sum quod sum. - Johm Updike

Thanks be to God that I am what I am

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

I Am Trying To Get It

I read an article on cracked.com that stated men are attracted to the sound of a women vocalizing while enjoying sex.  Okay, my bad.  There is an evolutionary reason for men to like the sound of me moaning.  It's not just watching too much porn.  Guess I shouldn't give the Sound Effect guys a hard time anymore.  Yeah, like that's going to happen.  They still have to start with a little conversation and not just "Let me hear the sound of you coming, Come on, give it to me, bitch."

I also read several articles that stated that Mommy/Son is the oldest and most universal taboo in all human cultures.  Yeah, I am still obsessing about incest.  Every time I think I have reached a resolution, callers drag me back into my internal debate.  Sunday felt like the hosting service had been handing out goddamned coupons for incest fantasies and most callers wanted Mommy/Son.  More than once caller told me they were going through a rough time because of money problems or divorce and wanted to imagine Mommy fucking them to make them feel better.  I am paraphrasing, of course.  One guy wanted a fantasy where he was a teenage boy and his mother discovered that he had been stealing her underwear to masturbate with while she was making his bed.  That one blew my mind and he was just the first.  As creepy as Mommy/Son fantasies are to me, the part that pisses me off is that they almost always start with Mommy doing some domestic chore for the bastard that he could and should damn well do himself.  It's like they want to imagine June Cleaver going down on them while she is ironing their fucking shirts.

I asked a caller and he told me that, for him, a woman doing domestic chores for him is nurturing; making his bed, doing his laundry, cooking for him, etc.  The cooking part makes sense to me, the rest...just doesn't.  Men can connect nurturing with sex in a way most women can't.  That's why I have a caller who calls himself Diaperboy.  When a man thinks of nurturing, he gets a warm and fuzzy feeling.  When a woman thinks of nurturing, she thinks 'that's a lot of goddamned work'.  The other thing about the Mommy/Son calls I was getting Sunday that drove me up the wall, they all wanted to be Lazy Fuckers.  They wanted to set up the fantasy and then have me take over so they could just lay back, stroking their cocks, and listen to me tell them a story about how I would seduce them while acting like a Mommy.  Jesus, just writing about it is fucking grossing me out.

So I did some research and stumbled over a website in the wee hours of the morning that has some really good articles.  One of the things that stuck with me the next day was an article that stated the Mommy/Son incest taboos could be found in every culture of the planet.  I knew that, actually.  The writer went on to state the reason for this is because a man's image of what is beautiful in a woman is based on the appearance of his primary caretaker as a child.  A boy thinks that his mother is beautiful, therefore a man finds a woman who reminds him of his mother beautiful.  The line can be crossed very easily therefore the taboo exists and has for a very long time.  Sorry, I can't cite the author.  I didn't bookmark the website and, of course, can't find it again.  If this sounds familiar to anyone, please let me know.

Some callers want a Mommy/Son incest fantasy because it is a taboo.  They just want to do something 'nasty' and forbidden, what the fantasy is really doesn't matter as long as it is extreme.  Others can't use phone sex to get off unless it is a Mommy/Son fantasy.  They are heavily invested in the imagery for masturbation.  I had a regular who was definitely thinking of his mother while talking about his fantasy.  He got pissed at me when I changed my schedule to avoid the Downer because it was inconvenient for him and now he won't talk to me.  I am not heartbroken by the development, I found the man deeply disturbing for a number of different reasons.  He wanted me to contact him outside of the hosting company and had serious anger control issues.  If I expressed a view contrary to his while we were chatting, he would explode and start screaming obscenities at me.  Some men want a Mommy/Son fantasy when they feel the need to be coddled because life is dragging them down.  I find the concept strange, when I think of being 'coddled', I don't think of sex.  Maybe that's part of the reason I have such a hard time with these callers, their fantasies don't make sense to me.

And I never thought of either of my parents as sexually attractive.  I could acknowledge that, at their best, they were both very good looking people and can understand why others did.  I am just still too goddamned angry at those perpetually immature assholes to ever think of them in sexual terms.  At the same time, I have seen the programming in action.  The man I loved was initially attracted me because of my physical resemblance to his mother.  He would never acknowledge it but, everyone else knew it was a factor.  My own brother tends to prefer women who look and act like our mother.  Which means he dates women who look and act like me.  Not sure how I feel about that so I'll just blame Mommy for that one.

Also, the thought of mixing sex with nurturing makes my skin crawl.  In my mind, there is a very large, dark, line drawn with concertina wire and Hellfire between sex and children.  I nurture a child.  I have sex with an adult.

Nope, still don't understand these fuckers.

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