Looking foolish does the spirit good. The need not to look foolish is one of youth's many burdens; as we get older we are exempted from more and more, and float upward in our heedlessness, singing Gratia Dei sum quod sum. - Johm Updike

Thanks be to God that I am what I am

Friday, February 3, 2012

Friday Is Going Down Hill Fast

I really have no idea how I am going to get though the 2nd half of this shift.  I have bloody well had it with these freaks.  The night started out OK.  Better than OK, actually but, it has steadily gone downhill.  The callers are rude and impatient or downright insulting.  The Get-On-Your-Knees-Bitch guy has called.  So has the Officious Little Prick.  These guys normally haunt the Barely Legal lines, annoying the crap out of operators.  If they have switched to the 'older' operators on the Anything Goes line, they must have burnt their way through a bunch of operators.

On a side note, I just got finished talking to a caller pretending to be the lead singer of a Spanish heavy metal band.  All he wanted me to do was listen to his fictitious history and expound on his theory of creativity.  What utter bullshit.  He's trying to tell me that writers don't draw from the works of other writers, artists avoid looking at the works of others, and songwriters write songs in a bubble.  Guess this kid has never listened to blues or jazz, never read Lovecraft or the writers that writer inspired, and never so much as scribbled out a caricature of a teacher in school.  When ever I tried to talk, he just talked over me.  So I bit my lip and let him, as painful as it was.

I am in a really combative mood right now so biting my tongue for this brat wasn't easy.  I have had a long string of hang-up, Short Timers, impatient assholes either fishing for the 'perfect' girl or wanting to hear the sound of what they imagine is cock sucking right from the beginning.  Why the hell the worst callers have the best auditory memory is beyond me.  Murphy's law in action, I guess.

Tonight, the callers seem to be extra freaky.  I have had more than one caller wanting to know if I have ever caught my son masturbating and did it turn me on.  Yuck.  I had a motherfucking bestiality call.  That's fucking rare, thank god.  Lots of goddamned incest or pedophilia calls.  Can't you idiots be original?  I dropped my goddamned phone and pulled the cord out after I asked a caller his name.  My heart stopped when I thought I had damaged the cord.  I didn't, thank god.  That happened to me once and I thought the Boss was going to kill me.  I've had a ton of Silent Callers or callers who hang up if I ask them any questions.   I've had callers who assume that I know the exact details of their fantasies and hang up if I make a mistake.  One was a call I was really getting into and another was a caller who likes to be financially dominated.  I have talked to him before. Yes, Virginia, financial domination is a real fetish.  Look it up, if you don't believe me.  Both of those little fuckers hung up on me.  The first one because he was impatient and felt I was going too slow.  The financial domination caller thought I was going too fast.  I have had a lot of callers hang up on me for asking questions like "what's your name?".

Let me tell you something, caller.  If you are so goddamned shy you can't tell a phone sex operator the fake name you have decided to use, hang up the goddamned phone.  Watch porn, instead, you fuck-wit.  I am so goddamned sick of this stupid shit.  Stop calling phone sex lines using a shitty cell phone while in the middle of nowhere and then getting pissed off at the operator for not being able to hear a goddamned word you say.  Stop calling while half way IN your disgusting little fantasy and expecting me to figure out what you want, play along the way you want, and get turned on by your bullshit without any explanation.  If I could read minds, I would be playing poker in Monaco, not talking to fuck-wits like you. You are a moron, caller, and I hope you die a horrible fucking death, screaming your guts out while necrotizing fasciitis eats your dick.  This means you, Get-On-Your-Knees-Bitch.  I would sacrifice kittens to Satan to watch you rot so I can dance on your grave.  Mr. Financially-Dominate-Me can be rotting in the bed next to you along with Nasty-Little-Jerk-Off-Boy.

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