Looking foolish does the spirit good. The need not to look foolish is one of youth's many burdens; as we get older we are exempted from more and more, and float upward in our heedlessness, singing Gratia Dei sum quod sum. - Johm Updike

Thanks be to God that I am what I am

Friday, March 2, 2012

Double Tap Rape Fantasy

I have stated before that I am not my PSO persona, Julia.  She is, however, the most like me of all of the characters I have created.  I consider her a more idealized version of my humble self; stream-lined down to a confident, sexy woman with no emotional baggage.  Trust me, Julia has been a lucky woman and she is unfamiliar with the concepts of regret or shame.  She feels neither.  When I am portraying Julia, I have to reflect this attitude in my voice and manner of speaking.  I don't tell a caller I am a confident, sexy woman, I let him hear it in my voice while I'm describing myself as Julia.  The details often vary from call to call but the essence is the same.  Trust me when I tell you that this is very important.

It might surprise you to know that many callers ask Julia what her day job is.  This is not unusual.  Most callers don't want to think that the PSO they are speaking to is talking to them just for money.  They prefer to think that the woman has a day job and is so sexually charged that she uses phone sex to get her freak on.  For a few, the idea that if they impress the PSO enough with their sexual prowess she will consent to meet them (and presumably fuck them) is part of their fantasy.  There is a caller I'll call the Travel Agent who truly believes that phone sex is a clearinghouse for nymphomaniacs dying to get fucked by anyone.  His call starts out simply enough but, quickly moves to asking the PSO is a flight attendant.  If a PSO says yes, thinking that this is his fantasy girl, he demands that the PSO arrange a free flight for him to where-ever she is so he he can fuck her.  He sounds as if he thinks that this is perfectly reasonable and, of course, the PSO will do it because she needs to get fucked and cannot control herself.  If she says 'no' or states that she would want to get to know him first before making up her mind, he hangs up.  The Travel Agent is so annoying that once, one of the supervisors jumped into my call with him before I figured out who he was, and politely threatened to throw him off the line if he didn't cut it out.  The Travel Agent stammered out an apology and hung up.  It surprised the hell out of me and I asked what was going on.  The supervisor explained that the Travel Agent had been calling for hours, trashing everyone's call time average and he was sick of the little asshole.  It takes about 2 minutes for the Travel Agent to get to the point of all of his questions, get annoyed when the PSO doesn't play along and hang up thus lowering a PSO's call time average into the dead zone.   Unfortunately, the Travel Agent is back with a new version of his game.  Instead of looking for a girl who will fly him to her, he demands that the PSO immediately promise to make plans for the weekend to travel to him.  I should have just played along and asked him for help making those arrangements; nearest airport, car rental, hotel names, etc, but, the habit of not asking a caller too many personal questions is strongly ingrained.  More on that some other time.

Julia is an office manager for a small firm that handles the sale and rental of heavy equipment.  Why that?  First of all, it is work I have done many years ago so I am familiar with what the job would entail.  It is extremely important that the PSO choose a profession that she is familiar with and can describe with some believable detail.  If she strays too far into unfamiliar territory, sure enough, she will run into a caller who does work in that field and will call her out on her bullshit.  College student is a good fall-back position, I have never had a caller ask for details about going to college. Second, it places Julia in a office setting and allows her to habitually dress the part.  The style is called either 'Business Sexy' or 'Professional Sexy' and most callers freaking love it.  Here is an example of how Julia describes herself to a caller:

"Let me start at the ground and work my way up.  I wear heels, stilettos, because I like being taller and they make my legs look so sexy.  I wear thigh-high stockings every day, the sheer kind with the seams running up the back of my legs.  I love wearing stockings because I know men look at those little seams and imagine following that line with their hands or their tongues...I wear well tailored skirts that are maybe a little too tight and a little too short but, I can get away with it because they make my ass look fantastic.  I wear tailored blouses, nothing frilly, just soft and feminine, that might show a bit of cleavage.  I just love it when the men in the office find an excuse to stand over me so they can glance down, I know exactly where they're looking...My hair is long but, I wear it up at the office with tasteful, little, stud earrings.  Its kind of a joke at the office that the boys can always tell when it's quitting time because the first thing I do is take my hair down..."

Last night, I got a caller from Ohio, I dismissed as a Lazy Fucker right from the beginning.  He just would not give me a clue about the direction he wanted to go in.  He kept stating that he had done
"just about everything," and wanted to do whatever I was into.  Well, this is bullshit, ran through my mind while I kept trying to get a straight answer out of him.  Callers like this are lying, simple as that.  They are not into 'everything'.  No one is into 'everything'.  Sex is the one thing where everyone has very specific tastes and no one likes to play in an area they have no interest in.  I know from experience that if I start with what I like, a Domination fantasy, he will most likely misunderstand and assume I want to be a submissive or just hang up.  Instead of continuing to dodge questions, he changed tactics and started asking about my life (meaning Julia's).  The idea that I worked in an office seemed to excite him and he suggested that we start role-playing that he was a man who had walked into the office while I was getting ready to lock up for the evening.

Well... I wanted direction.  I don't bother to tell him that the company I described would not be open to the public, I try to give him clues by asking if he is a client just stopping by or a new employee I haven't met yet.  He ignores both questions.  At this point, I am still expecting something fairly vanilla as far as a sexual fantasy goes until he describes waiting for my back to be turned toward him and coming up behind me.  Ah-hah, now I get it.  The caller really doesn't care about the details, he just wanted to get the ball rolling so he could get into his fantasy without my knowledge or consent.  This utter unbelievable bullshit is a rape fantasy.  In fact, it's a double-tap rape fantasy, not only does he get to role play this fantasy of assaulting a woman alone in her office, he gets a vicarious thrill by trying to surprise me with his fantasy and forcing me to play along without warning me first.  Jackass.

Aside from the fact that his fantasy of walking into an office late at night and sexually assaulting the woman who is working there alone does not fit the details of the fantasy I have created.  It doesn't make sense.  If I were working alone, late at night, and someone I did not personally know failed to identify himself as belonging there, I sure as hell would not turn my back on him.  I wouldn't take my eyes off him and my hand would be on the phone.  I absolutely hate it when a fantasy just doesn't make sense to me.  Also, playing along with some screaming and crying are out.  I already have a headache and I don't feel like making it worse for this scumbag.  Over the phone, the only way he can 'force' me to do anything is to get me to play along.  He's assuming that I want his call bad enough to not derail his fantasy, even if I don't like it.

Have you been watching the clock, asshole?  Because I have...Okay, I freely admit that a more professional PSO would just go along for the ride, just take the long call no matter how she feels about callers who pull this shit.  This asshole is a talker, he probably doesn't want anything from me except for some begging and pleading.  I should just play along, either by being submissive or role-playing fighting back.  Fighting back is likely part of his fantasy and I am just too goddamned stubborn to give him an extra thrill.  He's broken one of my rules, we are out of the dead zone and I want him gone.

He starts describing clamping his hand over my mouth and pinning my arms.  I've already decided that I'm not going to role play fighting back.  I'm also not going to say 'no' and try to take control of the call.  There is a very good chance that he is expecting this reaction, too.  It might give him a thrill to just talk over me, continuing his rape fantasy and 'forcing' me to participate.  The only way this works if is he doesn't allow himself to get thrown by anything I say.  The perfect moment appears when he pauses for breath and I interrupt by saying quietly, "May I ask you one thing?" (a pause) "Why didn't you just tell me this is what you wanted from the beginning?"

His response is a moment of dead silence before he quietly disconnects the call.

1 comment:

  1. I keep meaning to tell you that I like this label...