Friday, March 9, 2012
Believe it or not, I have interests outside of phone sex. The concept seems to be shocking to both callers and people who discover what I do for a living. Both groups have no problem reducing me to an unflattering stereotype and, literally dismissing me as somehow being an unclean, stupid, sex addict.
When I started this blog, I reduced my online identity to just my Wicked Julia persona yet, kept up with other activities. I did this to protect my privacy. I am well aware how easy it is to track someone down with little more than a name and a city. There are several callers who enjoy giving out personal information to see what a PSO can discover about them online. Often, they are shocked at how much personal information can be ferreted out within minutes. And I am far from an expert in information tracking.
I found this list in the author profile of a writer I enjoy on http://www.fanfiction.net. I read voraciously, as I have stated before, and use several sites to keep myself entertained between trips to the bookstore. I also use story sites to do research for the purpose of constructing fantasies. I chose to contact the author and asked if I could post the list on my blog before putting it here. I was reasonably sure that she was not the writer of this list but, it's always polite to ask. Her response stated that she did not write it and it is used frequently in author profiles. Her reply seemed unusually ...terse for that group so I got suspicious and looked at the stats on my blog. Sure enough, the day I messaged her, there was a spike in traffic here. Hmm. Now, I cannot be sure that a. (I contact her with a request for the use of this list,) leads to b. (she looks at my profile, which leads her here and decides that she wants nothing to do to with me) leads to c. (she sends me a response that would have done my poisoned pen grandmother proud) but, I'm a naturally suspicious person and being a PSO has made it worse.
Copy and paste into your profile, then bold the ones that apply to you.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm BLACK so I MUST carry a gun
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm ASIAN and a girl, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm MUSLIM, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm OUTSPOKEN, so I MUST be a bitch.
I SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST be going to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST hate the world.
I'm a REPUBLICAN, so I MUST blame about poor people for their problems.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I use ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I like to wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I like to dress in BLACK, so I MUST be a pretentious artist.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, gold-digging girlfriend.
I'm SEXUALLY ACTIVE, so I MUST be easy.
I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be rude.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST be a slut.
I get STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy, political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have LARGE BREASTS, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be a criminal.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a big butt.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS-13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually eats in public, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD who does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals
I'm CALIFORNIAN, so I MUST be tan and blonde.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be a self centered jerk.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN man, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be a mutant.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a kilt.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST I want to castrate every man who pisses me off.
I WEAR A HAT when I go outside, so I MUST be weird.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I HAVE A FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be white.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a Jashinist, so I must be a homicidal maniac
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist
Despite the fact that this list was obviously written 'round robin', (each person it was passed to added a sentence) I thought it made an important point. I did, however, edit it a bit to smooth out some of the rough edges. These are a few of the many stereotypes that human beings use to classify others and, as a PSO, these are a few of the guidelines I have to follow when talking to a caller. Callers expect a stereotype, they want to be able to sum up the PSO they are talking to within seconds to decide if she is the person who can be their fantasy and they do not like surprises. Most of the time.
Once, a caller relayed a mildly kinky fantasy request to me and then suddenly asked what I had been doing that day. I stereotyped him by assuming that he wanted to hear I had been masturbating all day and decided to tell him the truth. (I sometimes cannot stop myself from throwing callers off balance. This is why I call myself 'Wicked'.) I had been watching a Ghost Adventures marathon before I started working so I told him so. He loved it. He's an amateur ghost hunter himself and we spent the entire time sharing our personal experiences with the paranormal. He called back immediately after his time ended. I decided to be more professional and asked him if he wanted to discuss his fantasy this time. His reply was 'no'. He could call to talk about sex with any PSO. Finding one who shared his passion for visiting haunted locations was to rare to pass up, he wanted to talk about ghosts with me and wished we could go 'hunting' together. We had fun talking about our creepy experiences and I made a note to myself to try not to stereotype callers so quickly.
Please try to extend the same courtesy to me.